Metabolizing Emotions

Emotions need to be...

1. Felt

Feeling an emotion happens internally. It involves noticing the

sensations, the thoughts, and the behaviors that occur with the

emotion, as well as the character of the emotion itself. Often, there

will be more than one emotion present. Anger might arise initially

to cover shame, fear, powerlessness, or grief, for example.

2. Understood/Witnessed

Understanding an emotion involves witnessing it in a non-

judgmental, compassionate way without shifting the focus to

another person (e.g., someone to blame) or to the story. Being understood or

witnessed involves feeling heard and believed by ourselves or a

caring other and being held with unconditional positive regard.

3. Expressed

Expression involves an outward release of the emotion, usually

through some physical action, like crying or shaking or voicing words

in an embodied way. Many of us have been conditioned to resist

physical expression of emotion, which leads to tension held in the

body and increased reactivity in daily life.

All three steps are necessary to gain the benefit of the meaning behind the emotion.